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It's ok to stop and start over

So as you can see the first post in this blog was posted in June, back when I started Ivy Rose Consulting and set up this web site. And then...nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. I did set up an IG page (which I didn't send to anyone even though I did use the account to follow other similar accounts/organizations). I also booked my first two jobs under the company, both of which provided me with incredible learning experiences that I will definitely write about at some point. But nothing on the site, and in fact, very few people even saw the initial post because I only sent the site to close family and friends and a couple people I happened to interview with immediately following the publishing of the site.

Were things happening? Yes, but there was definitely some hesitation, fear and general lack of motivation on my part. I started working as an adjunct professor at two different colleges in the area and continued my work with students in my community, and the schedule just became a bit overwhelming. While I didn't walk away completely I felt the wind get knocked out of my sails, my motivation dissipate and the hunger begin to subside. I lost the urge to write and because I felt some odd sense of failure or shortcoming, a sense of fear/embarrassment/shame kept me from officially announcing it on social media or engvagving with a broader Feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to move forward, I made the decision to push the consulting business, blog and web site to the back burner, promising myself that I'd hit it again full-force at the beginning of 2019.

So here I am. Keeping my promise to myself.

While I'm still not 100% sure how to move forward, the time away from actively building the site taught me one major lesson: It's ok to plant the seed, set the foundation and step away to gain that extra bit of clarity, motivation, energy, focus, etc. For a while I beat myself up, wallowing in the fact that I'd given up on myself and this vision that I had for my post-grad life. But then, thanks to the wisdom of my parents, boyfriend and the incredibly powerful examples of some amazing friends on similar journeys, I realized that I'd been bringing the dream to reality the entire time. I WAS CONSULTING. The dream was materializing and for some reason I didn't see these wins as the incredible triumphs that they were...even mores considering I'd booked all of them less than 6 months after I walked across the stage.

I leave you with this, never get down on yourself for taking time. Sometimes doing so is the only way to get the rest, space and clarity that you need to refresh the vision and see the next steps toward the goal. When I was writing my dissertation the most frustrating moments were those where it wasn't that I didn't WANT to write, but I literally COULDN'T. I'd sit at my computer ready to write and...nothing. I learned not to force anything out in those moments (which could last anywhere from a few hours to a few days) and instead closed my computer and walked away to engage in other activities, watching a movie, hanging out with friends, sleeping, working out, etc. It was often in these moments where I would have the A-HA! moment that I needed and would then literally have to run to my computer because I couldn't stop the ideas from rushing to the forefront of my mind.

The very same thing happened in the case of building this blog, web site and company. I walked away and now I can't stop the ideas and the creativity from flowing. I've made some exciting moves and come to some exciting revelations and I can't wait to share them all well as do a deep dive on various hot button issues impacting society, teaching and learning.

Welcome (back) to Ivy Rose, The Blog.

Let's build and grow together.

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